Honestly I'm trying to believe in God again but, it's so hard?

It's so hard! Hard than it's ever been before. I mean....I HAVE TO HAVE FAITH. It doesn't make sense to me, the Bible or any book about religion doesn't make any sense to me. Everytime I try to believe I feel like a huge faker. I guess I'll have to admit that I'm trying to believe in God because I fear the unknown AND IT'S JUST RIDING MY MIND LIKE 24/7. AWH!!!!!!!!!!!